Friday !!

Stressful times

Melodic Rhymes

Tiring week

Liquor I seek

Loneliness creeps

Friends I seek

Who Cheat and Betray

Laugh at my own ways

Sorrow smiles

Dance & Jive

Interface with Death.

Took a deep breath.

Fear makes me  strive

Call it Life.

The wheel moves on.

I paddle along.

Ego vs Karma

Mamta Banerjee is looked upon as a messiah in Bengal. The railway minister Dinesh Trivedi has been asked by Mamta Banerjee to quit. A price he has to pay for bringing in a budget that was hailed as non populist but one which was required by the nation. Now Trivedi has asked Mamta a written request for him to quit. What started as intent to serve the people and the nation has become an ugly war of egos.
Why does it happen in our lives too that we start off things with Karmic intention but end up in the battle of egos. One starts with all the good intentions of working hard but ends up quibbling over petty issues like cold word exchange, ignorance of recommendations or even a rude handshake. An entrepreneur’s biggest challenge is not sorting out finances or finding a great business model, but in finding a business partner with whom he can gel well. I too have felt this inner conflict many a times. Be it a simple class project or a creative endeavor, the battle between karma and ego would exist in my subconscious and would suddenly flare up when someone suddenly ignites it. So should we throw away our egos to pave way for karma. But the problem is you can’t do it, coz your ego is who you are.
Ego is both the devil and the angel within you. Ego is what makes you to wake up early in the morning to finish those assignments before everyone else. Ego differentiates you from a Bot which has artificial intelligence. Ego gives you that drive to progress in life. Ego channelizes your ideas to creation. Ego is what makes you to face yourself in the mirror with pride and satisfaction. Without ego, you will not dream. Without ego your existence would be nothing more than a puppet whose strings can be held by any tom dick and harry. You are the embodiment of your ego; they are not two separate entities. Meaningful karma can only be performed if your ego drives it.
Catch lies in striking a balance between the two. Karma is the fruit of Your creation, our creation. Without performing meaningful karma your existence would be in vain. I would not say that you need to trade off between the two, but you need to know when you are not your own self; when the so called inflated ego is carrying you away from the path of karma which you had once chosen. You need to question your own state of mind when you find out that you are not guided by your will but you are just reacting to the mood and attitude of other people.
Mamta Banerjee who entered politics for the nation and its people has lost the cause. She is no more performing her karma but is reacting to a much smaller vision. The rail budget by Dinesh trivedi is not looked upon by her as a forward looking one but a blow to her inflated ego. Her ego has shadowed the karma for which she one day had started her journey. I hope the divinity someday guides her and she stops seeing the branch but sees the complete tree.

Kal Aaj Aur Kal

When we say that 'live life in the present', we easily forget how fragile our lives are. We might want to play with it, abuse it, love it and be addicted to it, but the fact is that someday we would surrender it. They say that live life to the fullest, who knows what your future has in store for you. The cruel life teaches us time and again to live for the future and when we start living life in the present it makes us feel scared and unsecured. It is impossible how it makes us to believe that we either had a past which was either too joyous so that it cannot be lived again or it was too dark that it makes you so scared that you start disliking your present state. You end up looking at the future with all the hopes so that it either gives you that unfathomable joy of the past or keeps you away of the hardships.

Even if we try to live in present by rising above the fear of the future and the shadows of the past, our commitments to the world would not allow us to. There are many who look upon us with love and hope. By the time you flex your muscles and become independent you realize that you mean so much to your parents. You are their only child who is going to look after them for the rest of their life and it’s not an obligation but your own wish to return back a part of that love they gave. You realize that you have a girlfriend who has already dreamt of a utopian future which has two beautiful kids waiting to be caressed by their father. You realize that you have a young nephew who is expecting you to play with him every evening after college. You realize that you not only represent yourself but the prestige of your parents and relatives. If not consciously you subconsciously start preparing for the future. Your actions remain no more yours but are the extension of these subconscious elements residing in your fucking head.

Life and Death

Death holds the essence of life. The demise of every person you knew reminds you how precious and at the same time futile your life is. It forces you to look at things with a different frame of minds. It tells you that the money you earn the career you build, the road you tread and the house you build is not yours. You don’t own anything. Memories? I just wish we did.

Steve Job’s demise was one such reminder of the short lives we live.  The point is not how big we make in this life, but how much we live our own selves.  Steve Jobs was one such person who did it all to extract whatever he had in him and whatever he was capable of doing.  Like the way he silently stepped down from the CEO’s post and the world was talking, likewise he stepped down from life. What would have happened if he had chased his rivals, maybe he would have become the richest person. So what! He would not have become the Steve jobs we know.

To reiterate what has been said many a time before, life is too short to live other persons dream and death is a constant reminder of that coz someday the benign God would play this wicked game with you too. Shape up your life in a manner it deserves to be. Respect what you are and what you can be. Respect the fact that you are born unique.

The Search

Can’t rhyme when I plan it.
Can’t sing when I feel it.
Can’t kiss when I think of it.
Can’t live as I want it.

I am a free soul whose search knows no end.
A rebel, whose vengeance knows no end,
A philanderer, whose lust knows no end.
An ascetic whose penance knows no end.

My dreams are made of my past.
Savage looking for class.
Ethical in laundering money.
Everyone else to me is funny.

This enigma does haunt me.
Takes the last breath of me.
And then I find the you in me.
Embracing the world as we see.